


To Watch Someone Die

by ecriture



Category: House M.D.
Genre: F/F, Huntington's Disease, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-13
Updated: 2013-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-08 08:59:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/759537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ecriture/pseuds/ecriture
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cameron is faced with the life-changing decision of whether or not it is time to pull the plug.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Watch Someone Die

**Author's Note:**

> This was written due to being prompted on an RP group. The original can be found here along with the original prompt wording: http://cameronallison.tumblr.com/post/47858910394/ It is, sadly unbeta'd but I hope you enjoy.
> 
> It is set where Cameron has been working in a rehabilitation unit, many years in the future.

Cameron looked down at Remy’s chart. It was heart-breaking to see the conditions of her Huntington’s were progressing faster and faster. The woman that she had grown to love and care about was slipping through her fingertips and there was nothing she could do about it. No cure. She took the chart off of the bed and sat by the foot of it. Remy was heavily sedated to prevent the jerked movements that she now couldn’t control. Cameron’s hand lay on the medically stilled leg of her girlfriend; she could feel the stray tear roll down her cheek. She needed to stay strong through this. Stay strong for Remy.

She couldn’t help but feel like she should have done more in Remy’s lifetime. She knew that she loved her deeply. No one else had even come close to what she felt for this woman. Stroking the brunette’s hair, Cameron pondered whether or not she should have proposed to her. She had wanted to, and now with the laws changing some states would allow it. Would Remy have liked that? Would she have laughed at the idea? Would she have worn a pretty white dress? The thought of a wedding with this woman was something that Cameron could imagine so easily. She could picture forever with Remy. Those thoughts and fantasies of a wedding and a life afterwards were soon crushed when she looked at the other woman’s face. It was evident that she wasn’t going to last much longer and all that filled Cameron was regret.

“I know I don’t tell you enough Remy, but I really, truly love you.” The tears wouldn’t stop. She didn’t want to lose her other half. She threw the chart across the room in anger. Nothing could be done about the situation. Nothing could be fixed. It had hurt the first time she had lost someone she loved to illness but this time felt a thousand times worse. She heard the soft rustle of bed sheets moving. She had awoken Remy and felt so much worse about it. The soft murmur escaped the sick woman and Cameron shook her head, kissed her forehead and looked into her eyes. “Go back to sleep darling. I’ll still be here.”

Remy shook her head. She looked towards the machine that was keeping her heart from failing, the machine that was keeping her alive. It was the only thing stopping her from drifting off to an eternal slumber. Cameron followed her gaze. “Remy, I can’t.” She took hold of Remy’s hand. “I can’t do that. Not to you.” The grip on Remy’s hand tightened. “I can’t be the reason you die. I don’t want to let you go.” The soft utter of ‘please’ caused Cameron’s heart to break. She had some idea how much pain and suffering Remy was going through, but Cameron had no idea it would result to her wanting to be killed. To be euthanized.

Cameron looked into her girlfriend’s eyes. She knew that one day the machine would have to be turned off. She just wanted a little while longer with Remy. “A-are you sure?” She could hear her voice breaking. Remy nodded. “I just want you to know that even though you probably can’t remember who I am due memory lapses, you made my life a happy one. You showed me what it was like to love and be loved in return and I cannot thank you enough for that Remy. I never thought I would be able to fall in love with another woman, not until you showed up on my street stark raving drunk.” Cameron tried to smile but it only caused more tears to fall.

“I thought to myself, ‘why is it that I am the only one awake when there is a drunk on the street.’ I knew I had to help you. Usually I would have left them on the side of the road; someone would have found them, but not you. I was drawn to you. From the first moment, I was drawn to you.” She thought back to that night that Remy had passed out on her couch. “I remember so clearly that night. How I was worried you would choke on your own vomit during the night. I was so very worried.” She pushed a lock of stray hair off of Remy’s forehead. She had no idea if the other woman was listening to her any more. It was a known symptom that those who suffered with Huntington’s would not be able to concentrate on things.

“Then in the morning you kissed me, and I couldn’t stop thinking of you. How gentle you were with me. I fell for you then. You were such a kind soul to me and I don’t want to lose you now.” She looked at the machine with a look of sadness. She reached over a hesitated. Cameron looked back to her sick girlfriend and saw her nod. It felt like she was ripping her own heart out when she removed the plug from the socket in the wall. She wanted nothing more than to curl up behind Remy and hold her.

So she did. Cameron got onto the small bed and wrapped her arms around the frail body she found there. “I love you Remy, and that isn’t going to change.” She could feel herself crying once more. Tears that held all the things they had promised to do together but no longer had the chance. She counted the strained breaths and irregular heartbeats.

A slurred voice uttered words that only caused Cameron’s chest to ache. “Thank you, I loved you too.” Cameron held on tighter to her girlfriend, burying her head in the back of her neck, hoping that the long brown hair would hide the tears that fell. She knew the doctor’s that were treating Remy would check in soon due to the removal of the life-support.

The sounds of Remy’s life finally coming to an end was too much for Cameron. She began to wail loudly. She didn’t want to leave Remy during her last moments but she also didn’t want to witness her death. She knew she would never be able to forgive herself should she leave. It felt like years that Remy suffered without the life-support. When the dull beep went off, Cameron felt numb. She was alone in the world again. Everyone that she had loved she’s lost. Cameron laid there for hours, until she was forcefully removed by the doctor’s. She knew she could bounce back from this; she had done previously with Joe. Except she hadn’t been with Joe as long as she’d been with Remy, she had been with Remy for years.

It hurt so much. She was reminded of what she said years ago, it really was easier to die than to watch someone die.


End file.
